Self Harm

I wanted to talk about self harm because it's something that is often associated with depression, but I don't think it's discussed enough. This post isn't about me trying to promote self harm as a good thing, I'm just trying to help people going through the same thing or give people a better understanding so they can help their friends and family if they need to.

I started self harming when I was 15, which I know is older than some people who talk about these things, but it doesn't mean that it caused any less of a problem. I was feeling very depressed, I felt like I could feel anything and I just needed to feel something to keep me sane. So I self harmed. Which was probably the worst decision I ever made. I thought that it would be something that I would be in control of; I may not have been able to control my emotions, but at least I could control the pain. I literally couldn't have been more wrong. The control doesn't last long, and soon you're spiraling out of control.

Yes self harm helped in the moment, but that didn't last long either. As soon as you lose the control you thought you'd maintain, that's it - the thing you used to help with your problems was suddenly another one f your problems. Your mind tells you to harm again and again to solve it, but in all honesty you can't solve self harm with self harm - it's like trying to put out a fire with a burning flame.

Self harm is a serious thing, and I know from personal experience that people who don't understand really don't understand. It's all very well your mother telling that you that it must sting in the shower, but that doesn't do much help when it's just past 2 am and you're crying your eyes out just wanting to die. I remember a look of disgust on my dad's face, and that just made me want to hurt myself even more, and it completely took any sentiment from 'please don't do that' away completely. I really think that self harm should be talked about more - everyone should know how they can help someone who's going through it, or what they can do themselves if they're self harming. We live in a society where mental disorders are slowly becoming more talked about and more prominent, but there is still a huge amount of ignorance to these disorders, what they entail and those who suffer from them.

If you are struggling with self harm, please talk to someone about it because honestly things do get better eventually, and self harm does nothing in any way, shape or form to help with that process of recovery. If you know someone who is self harming, or think they are, then please take a moment with them and ask gently and kindly, accepting that they may not want to talk about it straight away, but try to get them to tell someone they can trust who can help them.

These websites provide more information, and may be of some use to you:

Em x

No comments