Dealing With Loss

I often talk about dealing with depression and anxiety, and my experiences with both of those mental illnesses. However I don't think I've ever spoken about the loss that tipped me over the edge, and how I've learnt to deal with loss in a much more effective way that's a lot less detrimental to my mental health. 

Whilst I was showing signs of depression, isolating myself, having little interest in things, and finding it extremely difficult to go out to events, there was moment that 'tipped me over' into a mess of tears, panic attacks and self loathing. For me this was the death of my grandad. It was a shock to my family, to go from seeing him every day to not at all was strange to say the least, and I didn't deal with it well. 

I can't explain exactly why this is linked or whatever, but I assume it's because I was feeling extremely upset and it progressed into the constant feeling of nothing. Because of this I really didn't deal with the loss of such a close family member well. I found it quite difficult to grieve properly, I didn't know how to express my feelings to myself let along to anyone else, and this of feeling everything and yet nothing made it difficult to process exactly what had happened. 

Everyone deals with the loss of a loved one in different ways, but for me I've had to learn how to make myself deal with it in a way that isn't going to have negative effects on me mentally. This is different depending on circumstances, mostly a shock loss is much more difficult to process anyway. These are three tips I like to remember when I'm going through the loss of a loved one, loss is different for everyone and differing situations will have differing reactions, but over the past few years these have helped me to deal with it and keep going.

For me I like to break down the emotions that I go through. Dealing with them individually may make the process a lot longer, but for me it's easier to understand and comes to term with it. 

Talking is so important. Even if you can't think of anything logical to say, it's important to talk to someone about how you're feeling, or how they're feeling, or just the situation as a whole.

This one it a bit deep, but I like to think of the person as being their personality and soul which continues to live on through memories, and the body as an outer shell. You may think differently to me, but this is probably what helps me the most, as what I consider the most important thing, i.e someone's personality and the memories that you with that that person, are not lost through the loss of their body. 

 Like I said, loss is different for everyone and how people deal with it is different, but these hints have really helped me, and hopefully may help others too. 

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